science · Classroom writing
Scientific explanation
Show how a process produces an outcome.
Classroom practice; use your course’s own task instructions for assessment.
Teach from noticing to independence
Complete annotated model
Task: Explain why droplets form outside a cold glass.
Read the complete model in the centre. Explore highlighted grammar and vocabulary on the left, and match numbered passages to structure notes on the right.
Original classroom teaching model. Use the actual course task and word limit for assessment; the labels here are teaching descriptions, not awarded grades.
The complete text
Why does a cold glass become wet outside? Droplets can appear on the outside of a cold glass even no drink has been spilt. This is an example of : water vapour changes into liquid water. The water forming the droplets comes from the surrounding air, not from liquid passing through the glass.
Near the cold surface, the air . When it is cooled sufficiently, water vapour can condense. Its particles lose energy and come closer together as liquid droplets form. The glass provides a surface on which those droplets can collect. The particles do not disappear, and the glass does not create new water.
The amount of condensation depends on conditions such as the water vapour in the air and how cold the surface is. A glass in warmer, more surroundings may collect droplets more readily than the same glass in dry air. Simply saying that the glass is cold is therefore not a complete account of every situation.
The same process helps explain water on a cool window. Water vapour near the surface cools and becomes liquid there. In both examples, the useful explanation identifies the original water source, the cooling and the gas-to-liquid change. Those connections explain the wet surface more clearly than saying that water has leaked through it.
Read · evaluate · revise
Compare three responses
Task: Explain why droplets form outside a cold glass.
The weak and good options isolate choices for comparison. The excellent option shows the complete teaching response. These are not awarded grades. Compare specific choices rather than treating length or complicated vocabulary as automatic quality.
Weak: comparison extract
Hover over an underlined passage to preview advice. Click or focus it to keep the explanation open.
Good: comparison extract
Hover over an underlined passage to preview advice. Click or focus it to keep the explanation open.
Excellent: complete teaching model
This is the whole response. Hover, click or focus a passage for advice on its place in the text.
Complete annotated model
Task: Explain why droplets form outside a cold glass.
Read the complete model in the centre. Explore highlighted grammar and vocabulary on the left, and match numbered passages to structure notes on the right.
Original classroom teaching model. Use the actual course task and word limit for assessment; the labels here are teaching descriptions, not awarded grades.
The complete text
Why does a cold glass become wet outside? Droplets can appear on the outside of a cold glass even no drink has been spilt. This is an example of : water vapour changes into liquid water. The water forming the droplets comes from the surrounding air, not from liquid passing through the glass.
Near the cold surface, the air . When it is cooled sufficiently, water vapour can condense. Its particles lose energy and come closer together as liquid droplets form. The glass provides a surface on which those droplets can collect. The particles do not disappear, and the glass does not create new water.
The amount of condensation depends on conditions such as the water vapour in the air and how cold the surface is. A glass in warmer, more surroundings may collect droplets more readily than the same glass in dry air. Simply saying that the glass is cold is therefore not a complete account of every situation.
The same process helps explain water on a cool window. Water vapour near the surface cools and becomes liquid there. In both examples, the useful explanation identifies the original water source, the cooling and the gas-to-liquid change. Those connections explain the wet surface more clearly than saying that water has leaked through it.
A frame to adapt
These openings support rehearsal on new content. Adapt or remove them once learners can make the choices independently.
… occurs when …
Near …, … changes because …
The observed … comes from …, not …
Discuss the whole text
- How does the opening establish the reader and purpose?
- How does each paragraph develop or qualify the message rather than repeat it?
- Which model identifies the water's source and connects it to the change of state?
- How does the ending follow from the earlier information?
Make the writing choices audible
“Who is the reader of this scientific explanation, and what do they need from you?”
“Show me the detail that supports your point. What would be unclear if you removed it?”
“Read your revised sentence aloud. What has changed for the reader?”
A short feedback conversation
- The writer identifies one intended effect.
- The partner points to words that achieve it and one gap.
- The writer revises, then explains the choice.
Adjust support and check transfer
More support
Read the model aloud, explain essential vocabulary and rehearse ideas orally. Offer the move labels with one optional sentence opening. Accept a labelled sketch before a short written response.
Greater independence
Hide the model and change the reader, topic or evidence. Ask learners to choose their own structure and justify one language choice.
Age and task fit
For younger learners, select one or two moves and work with familiar experiences. Older learners can compare alternatives and qualify claims. Use the actual course task and criteria when preparing for assessment.
Check learning
Use a new prompt without the model. Look for the same purposeful moves in original wording; copied phrases alone do not show transfer.