Science across subjects
From results to a justified conclusion
Keep observations, explanations and evaluation distinct.
A route from noticing to independence.
Notice the choices in the model.
Complete annotated model
Task: Interpret illustrative mean dissolving times for 5.0 g sugar: 121 s at 20°C, 77 s at 40°C and 42 s at 60°C.
Read the complete model in the centre. Explore highlighted grammar and vocabulary on the left, and match numbered passages to structure notes on the right.
Original classroom teaching model. Use the actual course task and word limit for assessment; the labels here are teaching descriptions, not awarded grades.
The complete text
How does water temperature affect dissolving time? This classroom investigation measured the time taken for 5.0 g of sugar to dissolve in water at 20°C, 40°C and 60°C. Water temperature was the , and dissolving time was the dependent variable. The water volume, sugar mass and stirring procedure the same. Three repeats were completed at each temperature, and a mean time was calculated. The endpoint was judged when no sugar crystals remained visible.
At 20°C, the mean dissolving time was 121 s. At 40°C, it was 77 s, and at 60°C, it was 42 s. , mean dissolving time decreased as water temperature increased. The difference between the lowest and highest temperatures was 79 s. These figures describe the measured relationship; the results paragraph does not need to introduce an untested explanation.
The results support the conclusion that higher water temperature reduced dissolving time under these conditions. Greater particle motion at higher temperatures can help explain the faster dissolving. However, the investigation measured how long a fixed sugar mass took to dissolve. It did not measure the maximum quantity of sugar that could dissolve, so the results cannot establish a change in maximum solubility.
Judging when the final crystal disappeared introduced uncertainty into the endpoint. Small differences in stirring could also affect the comparison. A more consistently defined endpoint and a controlled stirring procedure would improve the method. Additional repeats would help assess the variation, but repeating an inconsistent method alone would not remove a between conditions.
Read · evaluate · revise
Compare three responses
Task: Interpret illustrative mean dissolving times for 5.0 g sugar: 121 s at 20°C, 77 s at 40°C and 42 s at 60°C.
The weak and good options isolate choices for comparison. The excellent option shows the complete teaching response. These are not awarded grades. Compare specific choices rather than treating length or complicated vocabulary as automatic quality.
Weak: comparison extract
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Good: comparison extract
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Excellent: complete teaching model
This is the whole response. Hover, click or focus a passage for advice on its place in the text.
Complete annotated model
Task: Interpret illustrative mean dissolving times for 5.0 g sugar: 121 s at 20°C, 77 s at 40°C and 42 s at 60°C.
Read the complete model in the centre. Explore highlighted grammar and vocabulary on the left, and match numbered passages to structure notes on the right.
Original classroom teaching model. Use the actual course task and word limit for assessment; the labels here are teaching descriptions, not awarded grades.
The complete text
How does water temperature affect dissolving time? This classroom investigation measured the time taken for 5.0 g of sugar to dissolve in water at 20°C, 40°C and 60°C. Water temperature was the , and dissolving time was the dependent variable. The water volume, sugar mass and stirring procedure the same. Three repeats were completed at each temperature, and a mean time was calculated. The endpoint was judged when no sugar crystals remained visible.
At 20°C, the mean dissolving time was 121 s. At 40°C, it was 77 s, and at 60°C, it was 42 s. , mean dissolving time decreased as water temperature increased. The difference between the lowest and highest temperatures was 79 s. These figures describe the measured relationship; the results paragraph does not need to introduce an untested explanation.
The results support the conclusion that higher water temperature reduced dissolving time under these conditions. Greater particle motion at higher temperatures can help explain the faster dissolving. However, the investigation measured how long a fixed sugar mass took to dissolve. It did not measure the maximum quantity of sugar that could dissolve, so the results cannot establish a change in maximum solubility.
Judging when the final crystal disappeared introduced uncertainty into the endpoint. Small differences in stirring could also affect the comparison. A more consistently defined endpoint and a controlled stirring procedure would improve the method. Additional repeats would help assess the variation, but repeating an inconsistent method alone would not remove a between conditions.
A frame to adapt
These openings support rehearsal on new content. Adapt or remove them once learners can make the choices independently.
The investigation measured … while keeping … constant.
At …, the mean … was …; as … increased, …
A limitation was …; improve the comparison by …
Discuss the whole text
- How does the opening establish the reader and purpose?
- How does each paragraph develop or qualify the message rather than repeat it?
- Which sentence confuses dissolving time with how much sugar can dissolve?
- How does the ending follow from the earlier information?
Make the writing choices audible
“Who is the reader of this from results to a justified conclusion, and what do they need from you?”
“Show me the detail that supports your point. What would be unclear if you removed it?”
“Read your revised sentence aloud. What has changed for the reader?”
A short feedback conversation
- The writer identifies one intended effect.
- The partner points to words that achieve it and one gap.
- The writer revises, then explains the choice.
Adjust support and check transfer
More support
Read the model aloud, explain essential vocabulary and rehearse ideas orally. Offer the move labels with one optional sentence opening. Accept a labelled sketch before a short written response.
Greater independence
Hide the model and change the reader, topic or evidence. Ask learners to choose their own structure and justify one language choice.
Age and task fit
For younger learners, select one or two moves and work with familiar experiences. Older learners can compare alternatives and qualify claims. Use the actual course task and criteria when preparing for assessment.
Check learning
Use a new prompt without the model. Look for the same purposeful moves in original wording; copied phrases alone do not show transfer.